So the day came where my life was unmanageable.
I was obsessively controlling, and my life was slowly eroding into a nine car pileup. My husband could do nothing right at this point and when he made an appointment to go to marriage counseling I figured if it would make him better, I'm all for it...lol
So I sat in the counselors office and he listened to me vent about (and blame) everyone and everything for the state of my life. He said 'why are you trying so hard Marianne'...and I replied 'becasue if I didn't it would fall apart' He then said 'If you have to try that hard it IS apart...stop trying.' Then he said, 'You are co- dependent.' I was like, what the F*%$# is that? He handed me the book Co-dependent no more and said 'Don't come back till you've read it.'
I read it, and never went back.
Not because the book changed my life, but because there was nothing wrong with me- it was my husband and my boss and my family and strangers I encountered- but certainly not me...lol
This was the beginning of the spiral to the bottom...
So you ask,'what does this have to do with being psychic?
Well, I just 'knew' what people needed- even if they didn't. I was constantly interfering with my unsolicited opinion- I helped and helped and ran people over with my helping- I was faster- smarter- and more knowledgeable that anyone else and felt COMPELLED to help those too ignorant (judgment) to help themselves.Everyone was stupid (another judgment) and I had their answers. (REALLY??...lol)
I am almost embarrassed to admit this - but I have many times confessed this- in order to forgive myself and ask for forgiveness from others.
I was using my psychic 'knowing' to butt in and evesdrop on unsuspecting people so I could 'help them'...( yup...) Even though, back in my own back yard there was a horrific disaster I could not face that was my life. I was not emotionally attached to their drama- but I was to my own- fixing them was 'less painful.'
It was during this time that my spiritual awakening was slowly occurring-people from every spiritual path were appearing day after day with a message. My awareness and need to understand my psychic abilities was becoming stronger..
I am compelled to share this story this morning because there is a great spiritual awakening occurring in our world-but it is painful as the ILLUSION we have created dies.
There is a much faster way to it if we can just shift our perception.
My spiritual Teacher Dave awakened me to this spiritual knowing and I was forced into changing by this amazing shift in perspective. (click here for the teaching)
Dave was not afraid to stand up to me, in his gentle Native American way- and blindsided me with his Spiritual wisdom. I am forever indebted to him. I was using my Psychic connection on everyone but myself. In fact- I could not see myself or (my behavior) or my relationship to the world at all.
There have been many scientific studies that suggest psychic ability is born from childhood trauma. Some say that it is a learned behavior (entering a trance-like state of separation from the physical stressful, abusive events) and a heightened ability to notice when the triggers for these events are going to occur. In psychics studied, something like 75 percent have reported childhood trauma.
I have found in this work that most addicts, physical and otherwise, are flaming psychics, untrained.
This is so they can use the healing of their trauma and psychicness to heal our changing and emerging world. It can make them great and powerful teachers.
This is the stuff that fascinates me about this skill I have developed and use to help empower others to heal themselves.
So if life is a train wreck, and you are addicted to noticing the suffering of others and you are avoiding looking at your own life because it seems too big to fix- there is hope- there is help- there is understanding there is a spiritual solution. Through this process you can harness this ability, get in touch with the guides and universal knowing and emerge as a great teacher....
Then we can then really FIX the world....by fixing our world ;)
Peace beyond all Understanding,
Marianne
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