Saying no is a loving act

One of my favorite books is the Four Agreements- by Don Miguel Ruiz.
One of the Four agreements is "Speak with Integrity"

Saying no is not something that was honored in my family- there were no personal
boundaries, I was never heard. So I had a very hard time not acting out of
obligation. Which eventually made me very resentful.
My mother did things for people because "You may need them someday" so all
giving was with condition. If you were the recipient it was lorded over you-
even if it was repaid.

I have found that saying no and not obligating myself to things I do not want to
do is a loving act toward others and myself.

I only obligate myself to things and people that I'm REALLY on board with-
unconditionally. Then there is no resentment.

When I am doing something that I don't want to be doing - everyone knows it- I
am pouty and curt- and act like it's their fault like I'm doing them some big
favor....lol

Saying no has also allowed people who I enable to find another solution. To do
it themselves- or- they find someone other than me to take advantage of.

At first it felt like I was saying no to everything, but I was committed to a
lot of things I was resentful of. But now- I only commit to things that I can
perform 100%-with joy and unconditional service.
Marianne Goldweber
www.mariannegoldweber.com