Gluing the soapdish- a story about diversion

I left home at a pretty early age, vowing I would never be back.
But-less than a year later I found myself between apartments and unemployed. The girl I moved out with found out she was pregnant and need her share of the rent and utilities for an abortion- and then decided that living on her own was not for her and she moved out.I was left with all the obligation. Then to make matters worse I mutually agreed with my employer to leave my job as a telemarketing phone room manager.

For a short time and I had no choice other than to humble myself and move back to the place that brought me so much unhappiness, my childhood home.

I immediately fell into a fit of depression, staying in my pajamas all day, giving up looking for work and an apartment. Subjecting myself to the internal critic of failure; in addition to the external punishment for failing, by my passive aggressive mother- who never actually called me a failure but treated me like one through snide remarks and superior references.
The changing moment for me was a day that I use in teaching to this day.

I broke a ceramic soap dish in the kitchen one morning. Everyone was at work or school, and I spent the entire day doing nothing but piecing and gluing together this dime store soap dish. Minutes turned into hours; I lost all sense of time in the pursuit of perfectly gluing my little project back to it's original form.

At 4pm, my sister arrived home from school and found me still in my pajamas; the house around me a disaster, and me fervently bent over my diversion for the day.

She said "Marianne what the hell have you done all day?? This place is a wreck and mom is coming home in an hour?? You're still in your pajamas for chrissake"

With pride in my accomplishment I held up my work of art and said "I glued the soapdish!!"
She said "Are you high??"
I said "No, but look, it's perfect."
Then reality crept in- "What the hell have I been doing all day???"

She snapped me back into reality as I looked around me- looked at myself and thought this is not who I am.I found a job and an apartment in the next week.

When the reality of life gets too painful to look at we all create diversions to keep us off the really important things. I have a friend that makes spreadsheets that he never uses, and another friend that uses garage sales and eBay as a diversion from life. Creating the illusion of doing.

These activities stop us from looking at our own itinerary, our own to do list and keep us from seeing the need for change our life.

What's your soapdish?