Today I was renewed by a classic- It's a Wonderful Life..
We have all had moments when we feel that we have put off our dreams because of the demands of daily life....that no matter how hard we work it's never enough. We have all had thoughts of how our existence is insignificant....
At one point in my journey- like George- it seemed no matter how hard I tried- the Mr Potters of the world were out to sabotage my efforts- and I reached a point of despair that changed my life forever... it was like the scene when George was in Martini's bar; George prayed for God to show him the way because he was out of options.....and God sent an angel...not to just save his life- but to help George redeem his faith in himself and renew his faith in the purpose he served to a damaged world....
In addition Clarence the angel reminding him that no matter how bad it seemed- it wasn't the material things that mattered- it is about the people who's lives we touch, who touch ours, and how truely blessed we are..
My favorite revelation is; when we ask for Divine help and our prayers are answered- it doesn't always come in the package we expect.
My favorite part of the movie is when all the people George helped, came in his hour of need, anxious to give to the man who gave them so much...That outpouring of love gets me every time....
It is indeed a Wonderful Life......
Friday, December 18, 2009
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Unconditional love..
There is no greater love that you can received than the love from a child.
I just want to say that I am the most blessed woman in the world.
I'm not sure what I have done to get such an amazing son-
but today I just want to let him know how much he is appreciated and loved.
He is what is right in this world.
My Son
Peaceful warrior
courageous and patient
wise and knowing
Thank you for allowing me to mother you on this journey.
Your love has healed me in ways you will never know.
Thank you for your support and encouragement when doubt clouds my way.
You have believed in me when many have not-
and for that I am grateful.
As you grow and mature I see a glimpse of the great man your will be.
It is a bittersweet vision...
It was not long ago that you would put your hand in mine
and look up at me with trusting, loving eyes eyes.
I look up at you now,
with the same love and admiration.
Thank you for all that you do
and all that you are.
You are a gift,
not only to me,
but to this world.
I just want to say that I am the most blessed woman in the world.
I'm not sure what I have done to get such an amazing son-
but today I just want to let him know how much he is appreciated and loved.
He is what is right in this world.
My SonPeaceful warrior
courageous and patient
wise and knowing
Thank you for allowing me to mother you on this journey.
Your love has healed me in ways you will never know.
Thank you for your support and encouragement when doubt clouds my way.
You have believed in me when many have not-
and for that I am grateful.
As you grow and mature I see a glimpse of the great man your will be.
It is a bittersweet vision...
It was not long ago that you would put your hand in mine
and look up at me with trusting, loving eyes eyes.
I look up at you now,
with the same love and admiration.
Thank you for all that you do
and all that you are.
You are a gift,
not only to me,
but to this world.
Monday, December 7, 2009
Changes.....
I guess the definition of insanity is doing things over and over expecting different results...
What I've come to realize is that we don't want to change.
Change means admitting we don't have the answers, that we are not in control- we really don't know where we're headed.But like the emperor who had no clothes, we are the only ones who are caught in the illusion. Others, see who we really are and the lie that we are telling them and ourselves. However, they don't want to be the ones who disrupt our 'illusion'..and be subject to our outburst of denial when we tell them they are wrong...
But..the true day of awakening is the one were change is forced.
The day when our pain, angst and fear overcomes us and we realize we've run out of options and we have no other choice than to look for another way...a better way..and in most cases it is the Divine that we turn to in that moment of surrender.
The only constant is change, and being resistant to it is the Achilles heal of the human being...
See the mighty oak- it has evolved to know to bend with the wind, staying rigid means certain death. It surrenders dead branches- letting things go- things that no longer serve the whole- or they will make it diseased.
So in this time of Winter- lets reflect on what illusion we've created- be brave and ask for a better way- change is wonderful.. I promise..
I still don't know what I was waiting for
And my time was running wild
A million dead-end streets
Every time I thought I'd got it made
It seemed the taste was not so sweet
So I turned myself to face me
But I've never caught a glimpse
Of how the others must see the faker
I'm much too fast to take that test
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Don't want to be a richer man
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Just gonna have to be a different man
Time may change me
But I can't trace time
I watch the ripples change their size
But never leave the stream
Of warm impermanence and
So the days float through my eyes
But still the days seem the same
And these children that you spit on
As they try to change their worlds
Are immune to your consultations
They're quite aware of what they're going through
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Don't tell t hem to grow up and out of it
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Where's your shame
You've left us up to our necks in it
Time may change me
But you can't trace time
Strange fascination, fascinating me
Changes are taking the pace I'm going through
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Oh, look out you rock 'n rollers
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Pretty soon you're gonna get a little older
Time may change me
But I can't trace time
I said that time may change me
But I can't trace time
What I've come to realize is that we don't want to change.
Change means admitting we don't have the answers, that we are not in control- we really don't know where we're headed.But like the emperor who had no clothes, we are the only ones who are caught in the illusion. Others, see who we really are and the lie that we are telling them and ourselves. However, they don't want to be the ones who disrupt our 'illusion'..and be subject to our outburst of denial when we tell them they are wrong...
But..the true day of awakening is the one were change is forced.
The day when our pain, angst and fear overcomes us and we realize we've run out of options and we have no other choice than to look for another way...a better way..and in most cases it is the Divine that we turn to in that moment of surrender.
The only constant is change, and being resistant to it is the Achilles heal of the human being...
See the mighty oak- it has evolved to know to bend with the wind, staying rigid means certain death. It surrenders dead branches- letting things go- things that no longer serve the whole- or they will make it diseased.
So in this time of Winter- lets reflect on what illusion we've created- be brave and ask for a better way- change is wonderful.. I promise..
I still don't know what I was waiting for
And my time was running wild
A million dead-end streets
Every time I thought I'd got it made
It seemed the taste was not so sweet
So I turned myself to face me
But I've never caught a glimpse
Of how the others must see the faker
I'm much too fast to take that test
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Don't want to be a richer man
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Just gonna have to be a different man
Time may change me
But I can't trace time
I watch the ripples change their size
But never leave the stream
Of warm impermanence and
So the days float through my eyes
But still the days seem the same
And these children that you spit on
As they try to change their worlds
Are immune to your consultations
They're quite aware of what they're going through
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Don't tell t hem to grow up and out of it
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Where's your shame
You've left us up to our necks in it
Time may change me
But you can't trace time
Strange fascination, fascinating me
Changes are taking the pace I'm going through
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Oh, look out you rock 'n rollers
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
(Turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-Changes
Pretty soon you're gonna get a little older
Time may change me
But I can't trace time
I said that time may change me
But I can't trace time
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Just like you..........
Mirror Mirror on the wall...
Just like our parents- we are the mirror our children look into for who they should be.
'Do as I say and not as I do' is a very basic way of saying that as parents- we must walk our talk. Our children are little sponges, not just listening to what we say- but more importantly watching what we do.
In order to have well behaved, committed and thoughtful children- we as their first teachers must check ourselves and walk our talk.
We tell them to play nice, don't call names, be responsible,don't swear, take care of your things, clean up, save your money, study and work hard, don't bully others, stand up for yourself, stop playing video games and go out and play..but where are they going to see the example of those things? In us.
For instance-
As you cuss someone out for cutting you off in the car?
Or gossiping and passing judgment on others?
Or telling a lie to get out of a commitment?
Or name calling the other parent in front of them?
Or putting wants over needs?
Or getting to work late?
Letting someone bully you?
Not really saying how you feel then talk about it later?
Look back on your own childhood and look at the mixed messages.
We swore we would never do these things, but yet, here we are, becoming more like them than we care to admit.
The biggest thing my son brought to my attention was that I was not financially responsible.
Once our gas was turned off and my son asked why. I told him because I didn't have the money to pay the bill. He reminded me that I just bought him a video game the day before, why didn't I use that money? I told him that I wanted to make him happy
and in his infinite wisdom, he said,
"Mom- hot water makes me happier than a video game."
Out of the mouths of babes.....
Be the mirror that makes your children proud; proud of where they come from and proud of themselves. Be a constant reminder that doing the right thing is not usually the easy thing
; and lead by example.
Letting them know that we're all human and make mistakes is a wonderful opening to some really great conversations..
Be the change you wish to see and your children will be the ripple of tomorrow.
Marianne Goldweber
Just like our parents- we are the mirror our children look into for who they should be.
'Do as I say and not as I do' is a very basic way of saying that as parents- we must walk our talk. Our children are little sponges, not just listening to what we say- but more importantly watching what we do.
In order to have well behaved, committed and thoughtful children- we as their first teachers must check ourselves and walk our talk.
We tell them to play nice, don't call names, be responsible,don't swear, take care of your things, clean up, save your money, study and work hard, don't bully others, stand up for yourself, stop playing video games and go out and play..but where are they going to see the example of those things? In us.
For instance-
As you cuss someone out for cutting you off in the car?
Or gossiping and passing judgment on others?
Or telling a lie to get out of a commitment?
Or name calling the other parent in front of them?
Or putting wants over needs?
Or getting to work late?
Letting someone bully you?
Not really saying how you feel then talk about it later?
Look back on your own childhood and look at the mixed messages.
We swore we would never do these things, but yet, here we are, becoming more like them than we care to admit.
The biggest thing my son brought to my attention was that I was not financially responsible.
Once our gas was turned off and my son asked why. I told him because I didn't have the money to pay the bill. He reminded me that I just bought him a video game the day before, why didn't I use that money? I told him that I wanted to make him happy
and in his infinite wisdom, he said,
"Mom- hot water makes me happier than a video game."
Out of the mouths of babes.....
Be the mirror that makes your children proud; proud of where they come from and proud of themselves. Be a constant reminder that doing the right thing is not usually the easy thing
; and lead by example.
Letting them know that we're all human and make mistakes is a wonderful opening to some really great conversations..
Be the change you wish to see and your children will be the ripple of tomorrow.
Marianne Goldweber
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
The Bluebird in my Heart
Bluebird
Charles Bukowski
There's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I'm too tough for him,
I say, stay in there, I'm not going
to let anybody see
you.
there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I pur whiskey on him and inhale
cigarette smoke
and the whores and the bartenders
and the grocery clerks
never know that
he's
in there.
there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I'm too tough for him,
I say,
stay down, do you want to mess
me up?
you want to screw up the works?
you want to blow my book sales in
Europe?
there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I'm too clever,
I only let him out at night sometimes
when everybody's asleep.
I say, I know that you're there,
so don't be sad.
then I put him back,
but he's singing a little
in there, I haven't quite let him die
and we sleep together like that
with our secret pact
and it's nice enough to
make a man weep,
but I don't weep, do you?
Henry Charles Bukowski (August 16, 1920 – March 9, 1994) was a German American poet, novelist, and short story writer. Bukowski's writing was heavily influenced by the geography and atmosphere of his home city of Los Angeles,
and is marked by an ...emphasis on the ordinary lives of poor Americans,
the act of writing, alcohol, relationships with women, and the drudgery
of work. A prolific author, Bukowski wrote thousands of poems, hundreds
of short stories, and six novels, eventually having over 60 books in
print. In 1986 Time called Bukowski a "laureate of American lowlife."[4]
Friday, September 25, 2009
All the answersd lie within...Om Mani Padmi Ohm.
Children, school, homework, work, laundry, friends,cooking,shopping....
It almost sounds like a Calgon bath commercial..but the reality is that there is not a lot of time for going within.
The stillness- which is taught by many cultures and spiritual schools of thought- is the still place within us where we commune with God..the Source..the Great Mystery.
This communion allows us to silence the distractions from the human world; allowing us to surrender to the ongoing guidance and insight from the world of Spirit.
For me, entering the stillness is like shedding my clothes and immersing myself in a warm bath on a cold day...It is the place where I commune with my teachers- spirit guides and ancestors- It is like going to visit friends who know you so well that there is no explaining, no posturing, no excuses; where communicating is simple and fluid...no words- just thought. Pure love and understanding.
These 'relations' have a much better perspective of my journey- one that most of us rarely take into consideration. Our Purpose..
This communication requires we surrender to the human need to control the outcome and be open to what the Spiritual beings have in mind for our highest and best.
Actually- it's what I wanted to do on this journey- but I forgot when I left the spirit world to be born into this human life. This is actually MY plan for MYSELF. But I forgot the directions on the other side. So I must now stop and ask for direction from those that know me, and my mission, best.
I blogged about an experience I had as a child once......
A long time ago, my Mom took us to Sears, ( hot nuts and hot dogs...yummy...) and we would go to the toy area while she shopped... Well, being who I was, I got bored and went looking for her....panic ensued, and meanwhile she went to the toy section, and I wasn't there....
We spent what seemed to be forever looking for each other.
I was in a panic...then I was running, in all directions, criss-crossing where I had already been out of fear.. Well when we finally saw each other she said "If you are ever lost, just stop and stay where you are and I will find you."
When you are lost, and in a panic, stop... be still and allow yourself to be found, and listen for the guidance to give you direction...
Today...I will enter the silence.I will allow the love of the Universe to wash over me and bring me to a place where there is no fear, no angst; nothing to control or manage. A place where the love is unconditional and the answers are clear....
“We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature - trees, flowers, grass- grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence... We need silence to be able to touch souls.”
Mother Teresa quotes
Marianne Goldweber
www.mariannegoldweber.com
It almost sounds like a Calgon bath commercial..but the reality is that there is not a lot of time for going within.
The stillness- which is taught by many cultures and spiritual schools of thought- is the still place within us where we commune with God..the Source..the Great Mystery.
This communion allows us to silence the distractions from the human world; allowing us to surrender to the ongoing guidance and insight from the world of Spirit.
For me, entering the stillness is like shedding my clothes and immersing myself in a warm bath on a cold day...It is the place where I commune with my teachers- spirit guides and ancestors- It is like going to visit friends who know you so well that there is no explaining, no posturing, no excuses; where communicating is simple and fluid...no words- just thought. Pure love and understanding.
These 'relations' have a much better perspective of my journey- one that most of us rarely take into consideration. Our Purpose..
This communication requires we surrender to the human need to control the outcome and be open to what the Spiritual beings have in mind for our highest and best.
Actually- it's what I wanted to do on this journey- but I forgot when I left the spirit world to be born into this human life. This is actually MY plan for MYSELF. But I forgot the directions on the other side. So I must now stop and ask for direction from those that know me, and my mission, best.
I blogged about an experience I had as a child once......
A long time ago, my Mom took us to Sears, ( hot nuts and hot dogs...yummy...) and we would go to the toy area while she shopped... Well, being who I was, I got bored and went looking for her....panic ensued, and meanwhile she went to the toy section, and I wasn't there....
We spent what seemed to be forever looking for each other.
I was in a panic...then I was running, in all directions, criss-crossing where I had already been out of fear.. Well when we finally saw each other she said "If you are ever lost, just stop and stay where you are and I will find you."
When you are lost, and in a panic, stop... be still and allow yourself to be found, and listen for the guidance to give you direction...
Today...I will enter the silence.I will allow the love of the Universe to wash over me and bring me to a place where there is no fear, no angst; nothing to control or manage. A place where the love is unconditional and the answers are clear....
“We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature - trees, flowers, grass- grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence... We need silence to be able to touch souls.”
Mother Teresa quotes
Marianne Goldweber
www.mariannegoldweber.com
Friday, September 11, 2009
Why Me???...an amazing story.......
It was 9am on September 11 2001, I was watching the 'Today show' and saw the events of 9-11 unfold Live...It wasn't clear at that time, until the second plane hit, that it was an intentional act...I was in the midst of a separation and my soon to be ex husband was working in Washington DC in the vicinity of the Pentagon.
My son was safely at school and I made my way to my retail business, which was on a major street..When I got there- people were literally wandering out of their offices and businesses shocked and close to a panic... My little herb store became a refuge for these wandering souls looking for some understanding.
I was on the sidewalk, when a man came up to me, tears streaming. He came up to me and said "Help me, I don't know what to do." I had some cafe tables and chairs set up on the sidewalk and I sat him down and ran to get a glass of water for him. When I returned, he told me a fantastic story.......
He said, "They're dead".. I knew that a lot of people were dying from this tragedy, but I asked "Who is dead"..He said "My company, everyone."...he sobbed and sobbed....He then told me that he was here in Cleveland on business, he was supposed to fly out the last night, but he missed his flight and was getting a plane this afternoon, and the company he worked for was on one of the top floors at the world trade center,where the first plane hit...
He tried to call, but he couldn't get through..
He said "I'm the only one left- I should have been there this morning...why me?" "Why me"..his words trailed off and his grief overtook him...he could not comprehend why he wasn't there; as if he deserved to be there, not that his life was spared in some Divine way... I couldn't do anything but hold him and allow his shock and grief to fill him and spill over, as his mind tried to wrap itself around the reality that was manifesting...
Time stood still and after an hour or so, as people were reporting the continuing horror to include a threat to Cleveland, as the plane bound for Washington circled us here.(Which was inevitably the plane that crashed in Pennsylvania)we all disbursed;Making our way to our loved ones, gathering our children.... and to the safety of our homes..
As he drove away I offered a prayer for him and his coworkers and for his families safety..I never saw that man again....
Today, as I remember this day in history I recall this man and his words "Why me?"
I hope that in the last 8 years he has discovered the answer to that question on that fateful day when everything for him changed...and I believe, will all my faith, that out of Tragedy, great Triumphs are born....
Marianne Goldweber
My son was safely at school and I made my way to my retail business, which was on a major street..When I got there- people were literally wandering out of their offices and businesses shocked and close to a panic... My little herb store became a refuge for these wandering souls looking for some understanding.
I was on the sidewalk, when a man came up to me, tears streaming. He came up to me and said "Help me, I don't know what to do." I had some cafe tables and chairs set up on the sidewalk and I sat him down and ran to get a glass of water for him. When I returned, he told me a fantastic story.......
He said, "They're dead".. I knew that a lot of people were dying from this tragedy, but I asked "Who is dead"..He said "My company, everyone."...he sobbed and sobbed....He then told me that he was here in Cleveland on business, he was supposed to fly out the last night, but he missed his flight and was getting a plane this afternoon, and the company he worked for was on one of the top floors at the world trade center,where the first plane hit...
He tried to call, but he couldn't get through..
He said "I'm the only one left- I should have been there this morning...why me?" "Why me"..his words trailed off and his grief overtook him...he could not comprehend why he wasn't there; as if he deserved to be there, not that his life was spared in some Divine way... I couldn't do anything but hold him and allow his shock and grief to fill him and spill over, as his mind tried to wrap itself around the reality that was manifesting...
Time stood still and after an hour or so, as people were reporting the continuing horror to include a threat to Cleveland, as the plane bound for Washington circled us here.(Which was inevitably the plane that crashed in Pennsylvania)we all disbursed;Making our way to our loved ones, gathering our children.... and to the safety of our homes..
As he drove away I offered a prayer for him and his coworkers and for his families safety..I never saw that man again....
Today, as I remember this day in history I recall this man and his words "Why me?"
I hope that in the last 8 years he has discovered the answer to that question on that fateful day when everything for him changed...and I believe, will all my faith, that out of Tragedy, great Triumphs are born....
Marianne Goldweber
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