Love is all we have....

Earlier in  life I allowed the painful experiences to make me seperate from others. I felt that people just wanted to hurt and take, and didn't really give a damn. I sadly spent much of that time taking, to prevent being taken, and withheld my love to punish. In spite of that, I had many people during that time who loved me anyway. I can't ever thank them all or enough.

Once my perception shifted, I realized that Love can't be contained. It is a free flowing stream from the deepest part of ourselves to another. I have allowed myself to be swept away by this divine flow.
I honestly can't look at another human being without feeling that love connection. It's the only thing I have that I can freely give. I will never run out of it if I stay connected to that place.

It seems that that Love takes risk, but if it is unconditional, there is no risk.

Occasionally I feel like the little boy throwing the beached starfish back into the water. Millions of them at risk of dying in the sun. The sheer magnitude of this mission can be overwhelming, but  knowing that just a little love will revive the light in another soul- one person at a time,  makes it do-able.

Every human thirsts for love- demonstrated in their need for  attention, value, kindness, compassion, and worth. What I can do is be present, and notice another who feels invisible or without identity or hurting. I can  remind them that they are a perfect expression of the Divine- and no matter who took that from them, they are Loved.

I love you.
Happy Valentines day
Marianne

Self Check- Mirror Mirror on the wall.......

The first principle I learned in my spiritual awakening that lead to my recovery
from co-dependence was to 'go first' and 'focus on my own growth only'.
Sounds simple enough...right!

A native American Teacher of mine had sent me out to 'observe' for a week, the
things and people that crossed my path.

Then return with the results.

So being a judgmental, co-dependent control freak...I was excited to get the
opportunity to observe who and what came into the path of my ever present
critical eye...I was writing things down like a mad woman....

I was in a restaurant and there was a woman at the next table who was loud and
abrasive- she was running over her friend and interrupted to 'one up'; her with
a bigger and better story.. I was annoyed- and felt angry at her..
How Rude! I thought.

I then observed a man bullying a woman at the gas station. I thought he was an
egomaniac- and was using his energy to overpower her.....and HER what's wrong with her????
Why didn't she see that this was not ok? Were was her backbone?
She just stood there and cried, like a victim. Where was her self respect????

After a week of these observations- my teacher asked me to write down all of the critical things I had observed.

I was very proud-

1. arrogance
2. abrasiveness
3. loud and overbearing
4. know it all
5. victim
6. bully
7. interrupter
8. bad listener
9. lack of self respect
10. (my favorite) bitch.

Then he asked me to write down the beautiful things I had observed..
Beautiful things? I had not written any beautiful things.

He then told me to write 'I AM' in front of all the criticisms.

Screech....what?

He then went on to explain that the Great Mystery -Creator- had sent all of those people as messengers- so I could get a look at myself in the Smoking Mirror of Illusion of Self..

I was horrified.

He said the reason I could not write about anything beautiful is because I could not acknowledge anything beautiful about myself..

This exercise changed my life.

We are all but a mirror for each other. I stopped wanting to fix others because I was now too busy fixing those flaws in myself. Frankly I didn't want to look in that mirror any more than I had to...lol

I began looking for the beautiful things in others and began to truly accept the beautiful things I had not cultivated in myself because of my negative attitude and low self esteem.

My intense judgment soon turned to compassion. I now knew myself- and then could find compassion for my brothers and sisters who were suffering, like me- not so long ago. Not trying to fix them-but understanding that they too are receiving messengers like myself when they were ready they would see. I wasn't my job to interfere in their journey or their lessons.I had enough work of my own to do.

I then understood what Gandhi meant by-"Be the change you wish to see in the world."

I have made it my life mission to be the best mirror I can be to the world.

But there is always work to do ;)

Amen.

Road trip- Marianne takes the kids to the homelss shelter

I am the car pool Mom and take my son and four other kids home ever day.
Yesterday I had been taking donations to various agencies throughout Cleveland.

I picked up the kids and they were being kids- picking on and fighting with each other...
(I say kids but they are in junior high)

So I told them I had to make a stop to drop off one more donation- and I took them to the Men's homeless shelter in downtown Cleveland. I had a load of blankets - and knowing the temperature was going down again, I felt they would be desperately needed.

Well...Divine timing being what it is- we arrived at about 3:30- just when the men are lining up to get in to the shelter for the evening. There were at least 60+ men standing in line with their bags of possessions.
My son goes there all the time- but the others had never been there.
The car got very quiet.

I turned around and explained- In the morning- the shelter makes all the men go out to the street, it seams mean- but if they didn't, they wouldn't look for work- or see how painful this way of life is. I explained that these men have serious problems. Some are addicted to drugs and alcohol- some are mentally ill. Some got out of prison and can't find work- because they have had no education- or their criminal record makes it almost impossible to get a job. But when they come in to the shelter at night- they get food, a bed, a shower, laundry and counseling if they want it- and if they do- they help them get their lives in order. They get them medical- mental health and legal assistance- even tutors from the college come to help them get their GED.

So I told them to lock the doors while I dropped off the blankets.
I walked across the street and all the men said "Hi!!! What 's in the bags- is it food- can I have some???" They were laughing and they even held the door for me. I left the bag at the desk and went right back out. One man yelled- "Will you marry me??" "I yelled back- "You don't want me I'm a lot of work!!" which got a big laugh from the entire group... All the while- 5 pairs of very large eyeballs were watching from the van.

I got back in the car- and we all waved at the men who were waving at us....
I expressed how grateful I am for my life....
It was a pretty quiet ride home....