Wednesday, February 1, 2006

Just say it!

Non verbal communication; everyone does it.  

Some more consciously than others.  

Seeing someone in a gaudy outfit, rolling our eyes, and nodding to a stranger near us with a wink.....

Some for "effect" without having to really "say" what they really want to.  

Or as a way of manipulating others, without actually saying anything.  

Some do it for attention, so we will respond "what's wrong?" and the reply being, "Oh nothing". Until you feel compelled to drag it out of them....  

This kind of negative non verbal communication that I am discussing today, can be manipulative and immature and judgmental. It reflects someone's inability to speak their mind. It speaks of Judgement  

It requires a lot of energy to behave this way. People who communicate this way are a lot of emotional work. It is exhausting on an energy level to communicate with them. Because there is a huge margin for error and miscommunication, which then fuels the fire.

They also take everything personally, which sets off a silent emotional tirade. The energy zinging like a tornado.  

One of my favorite books that helps us unravel this behavior is "The 4 Agreements", By Don Miguel Ruiz.

These four life changing agreements that we make with ourselves are;

Be Impeccable with our word

Don't take anything personally

Don't make assumptions and

Always do your best

There is also an experiential guide that goes along with it. There are also daily oracle "cards" that give us daily inspiration.  

Our thought for the day is from this book

Be Impeccable With Your Word

Speak with integrity.
Say only what you mean.
Avoid using the word to speak against yourself
or to gossip about others.
Use the power of your word
in the direction of truth and love.


Don't Take Anything Personally

Nothing others do is because of you.
What others say and do
is a projection of their own reality,
their own dream.
When you are immune to the opinions of others,
you won't be the victim
of needless suffering.


Don't Make Assumptions

Find the courage to ask questions
and to express what you really want.
Communicate with others as clearly as you can
to avoid misunderstandings,  sadness,  and drama.
With just this one agreement,
you can completely transform your life.


Always Do Your Best

Your best is going to change
from moment to moment;
It will be different when you are healthy
as opposed to sick.
Under any circumstance,
simply do your best,
and you will avoid self-judgment,
self-abuse,  and regret


Namaste,
Marianne Goldweber

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