Monday, February 14, 2011

Love is all we have....

Earlier in  life I allowed the painful experiences to make me seperate from others. I felt that people just wanted to hurt and take, and didn't really give a damn. I sadly spent much of that time taking, to prevent being taken, and withheld my love to punish. In spite of that, I had many people during that time who loved me anyway. I can't ever thank them all or enough.

Once my perception shifted, I realized that Love can't be contained. It is a free flowing stream from the deepest part of ourselves to another. I have allowed myself to be swept away by this divine flow.
I honestly can't look at another human being without feeling that love connection. It's the only thing I have that I can freely give. I will never run out of it if I stay connected to that place.

It seems that that Love takes risk, but if it is unconditional, there is no risk.

Occasionally I feel like the little boy throwing the beached starfish back into the water. Millions of them at risk of dying in the sun. The sheer magnitude of this mission can be overwhelming, but  knowing that just a little love will revive the light in another soul- one person at a time,  makes it do-able.

Every human thirsts for love- demonstrated in their need for  attention, value, kindness, compassion, and worth. What I can do is be present, and notice another who feels invisible or without identity or hurting. I can  remind them that they are a perfect expression of the Divine- and no matter who took that from them, they are Loved.

I love you.
Happy Valentines day
Marianne

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Psychicness- there is no instruction manual.

So the day came where my life was unmanageable.
I was obsessively controlling, and my life was slowly eroding into a nine car pileup. My husband could do nothing right at this point and  when he made an appointment to go to marriage counseling I figured if it  would make him better, I'm all for it...lol

So I sat in the counselors office and he listened to me vent about (and blame)  everyone and everything for the state of my life. He said 'why are you trying so hard Marianne'...and I replied 'becasue if I didn't it would fall apart' He then said 'If you have to try that hard it IS apart...stop trying.' Then he said, 'You are co- dependent.' I was like,  what the F*%$# is that? He handed me the book Co-dependent no more and said 'Don't come back till you've read it.'
I read it, and never went back.
Not because the book changed my life, but because there was nothing wrong with me- it was my husband and my boss and my family and strangers I encountered- but certainly not me...lol

This was the beginning of the spiral to the bottom...
So you ask,'what does this have to do with being psychic?

Well, I just 'knew' what people needed- even if they didn't. I was constantly interfering with my unsolicited opinion- I helped and helped and ran people over with my helping- I was faster- smarter- and more knowledgeable that anyone else and felt COMPELLED to help those too ignorant (judgment) to help themselves.Everyone was stupid (another judgment) and I had their answers. (REALLY??...lol)
I am almost embarrassed to admit this - but I have many times confessed this-  in order to forgive myself and ask for forgiveness from others.

I was using my psychic 'knowing' to butt in and evesdrop on unsuspecting people so I could 'help them'...( yup...) Even though, back in my own back yard there was a horrific disaster I could not face that was my life. I was not emotionally attached to their drama- but I was to my own- fixing them was 'less painful.'


It was during this time that my spiritual awakening was slowly occurring-people from every spiritual path were appearing day after day with a message. My awareness and need to  understand my psychic abilities was becoming stronger..

I am compelled to share this story this morning  because there is a great spiritual awakening occurring in our world-but it is painful as the ILLUSION we have created dies.

There is a much faster way to it if we can just shift our perception.
My spiritual Teacher Dave awakened me to this spiritual knowing and I was forced into changing by this amazing shift in perspective. (click here for the teaching)

Dave was not afraid to stand up to me, in his gentle Native American way- and blindsided me with his Spiritual wisdom. I am forever indebted to him. I was using my Psychic connection on everyone but myself. In fact- I could not see myself or (my behavior) or my relationship to the world at all.

There have been many scientific studies that suggest psychic ability is born from childhood trauma. Some say that it is a learned behavior (entering a trance-like state of separation from the physical  stressful, abusive events) and a heightened ability to notice when the triggers for these events are going to occur. In psychics studied, something like 75 percent have reported childhood trauma.
 
I have found in this work that most addicts, physical and otherwise, are flaming psychics, untrained.
This is so they can use the healing of their trauma and psychicness to heal our changing and emerging world. It can make them great and powerful teachers.

This is the stuff that fascinates me about  this skill I have developed and use to help empower others to heal themselves.

So if life is a train wreck, and you are addicted to noticing the suffering of others and you are avoiding looking at your own life because  it seems too big to fix- there is hope- there is help- there is understanding there is a spiritual solution. Through this process you can harness this ability, get in touch with the guides and universal knowing and emerge as a great teacher....
Then we can then really FIX the world....by fixing our world ;)
Peace beyond all Understanding,
Marianne

It takes A Village- find your Tribe!
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Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Mitakuye Oyasin- A Lakota prayer



The first 35 years of my life was very complicated. It was chaos and drama and pain and suffering.
I felt very victimized and separate from everyone and everything- including the Divine.

I was unable to ease my suffering except through 'diversions' that just took my mind away from it for a little while. Just going day by day - year by year- in a constant state of existing.
This became normal.

I didn't even realize that I was suffering. That realization came once I began  evolving.....awakening to another way... because the old tricks weren't working and the 'diversions' didn't stop me from feeling or stopping the bad things from  happening.

Then it shifted, things were happening and I couldn't control them, or ignore them. There were so many things I was not in control of anymore.

The Divine began uncomplicating  my life- I was not grateful, I was very angry that things were changing. Even though it was  painful- the unknown without it was scary.
'The awakening' was not in one day, it was an ebb and flow of understanding and evolution.
Then I began uncomplicating my life...because with every awareness, there was a sense of Peace.

It was slowly  removing or forcing me to look at the painful things that I created.
I created? Yes, I chose this life for all of these challenges- and then came here and created even more...(what was I thinking....lol) 

So, now you ask 'How do I do that?'

Well, first understanding that we complicate our lives, and are addicted to the chaos, like a junkie needs a fix...peace is boring, kindness is boring, simplicity is boring- while your life is 'complicated'.

At the end- my life took a dramatic turn where it became so complicated that I ran away.
I gave up and hid...for a year and I had to face the Truth.

During that downward spiral to stopping,  I learned  and heard many spiritual things and met many many spiritual teachers from every path. I didn'd realize that I was filing away their wisdom, unable to apply it, or understand it at that time- but during my year of nothingness, each insight came back to me at the right time- in the right moment.

During this time my birth religion failed me. It was too complicated, there were too many rules and none of it made sense. It didn't make me feel better- it made me feel worse and undeserving. It told me that God was punishing me.

I was drawn to the Native peoples religon. It was more than a religion- it was a way of life. It told me that The Great Mystery loves me enough to allow me to experience at my choosing.
I am CHOOSING it.
I can change what I choose.
There are messengers giving me the answers-
If I learn to stop and observe the message all around me.
It taught me to Living simply, and seeing myself as the Co-Creator of my existence will bring Peace;
Connected to everyone and everything; 
and through my example, I would be a mirror of hope and great change.
That I am accountable to the welfare of my brother.

I learned a prayer during that time.
I could not  fully understand it until the last few years.
A two word prayer.
Mitakuye Oyasin- All My Relations

It is a prayer for all my Relatives-
and now that I saw that everyone was my Brother, Sister, Cousins, Grandparents,Teachers and  my Father and Mother- it became increasingly difficult to be irresponsible, or sad, or unaccountable.

My existence affected  'All my Relations.'
It Demanded more from me- to Love, to laugh, to celebrate to bring hope, to rise, to fight, to champion, to bring peace.
What experience did I give My Relations in my ignorance?
What experience do I want them to have when they encounter me?
Am I looking out for them while they are too weak  to defend themselves?
How am I serving my Village?
Am I only taking and never giving back.
Am I hoeing my own row and then the row of another?
What legacy am I leaving the children- for the next seven generations?


So in this dark time of winter-
In the Grandmother Talks with Relations
my message to you who are reading this is;
You are choosing your suffering.
We have all suffered.
There is hope.
There is help
We are all connected in this great brotherhood.
You have a Village- send up a smoke signal.
Find Your Tribe.

Mitakuye Oyasi

Marianne Goldweber