Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Wisdom of Life- The greatest teaching

I learned tolerance when I was reminded,
that in my darkest hour-
someone was tolerant of me.

I learned compassion when I was reminded,
that in my darkest hour-
someone was compassionate toward me.

I learned forgiveness when I was reminded,
that in my darkest hour-
someone forgave me.

I learned Love when I was reminded,
that in my darkest hour-
Someone Loved me.

Marianne Goldweber

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Giving Thanks

Giving Thanks
Creator of all there is
who's beauty surrounds me-
thank you

I am grateful
for the innumerable opportunities  you have presented to me
through your grace.
Thank you for the faith to accept those opportunites and serve with joy.

I am grateful for the amazing souls that have joined me on this journey-
those who have been called to serve and those who come in need.
I am grateful for their kindness, patience and trust.

I am grateful for  those who know me best-
my guides and ancestors-
who's love and understanding guide me through the darkness and light
in my human journey.

I am grateful for my human family-
the source through which I became.
My parents, siblings neices and nephews,
who remind me of  my past and support me in the present.
Reminding me of my roots, where I came from
and who helped make me the person I am.

I am grateful for my son- the living arrow that I will send into the the future,
who's unconditional love has Taught me compassion, trust and love
He has taught me to grow and mature.

For these and so many other things I am grateful.
Amen

Monday, October 25, 2010

If the world was blind for a time.....

If the world was blind for a time,
Would our blindness remove the judgment
by which we assess each other?

Would it level the field?
or would beauty then be judged
by the sound of our voice
or the feel of our skin,
or the smell of our essence?

Would we allow our other senses to
feel another person's energy,
or listen harder to their truth?

Would our blindness make us afraid?
Or would we learn to develop trust?


If the world was blind for a time,
would we finally be able to see
the light and darkness
within ourselves?

Would we develop faith in the unseen-
something greater than us,
and our own inner knowing?


Would we learn to appreciate
the simplicity of life?

Would we learn to help each other?

Would we love our neighbor?

Would we  learn to feel with our hands and hearts?


Oh, if only the world was blind for a time......

Marianne Goldweber

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Rules of the road- Memoirs of a biker chick..

During the course of my life I have not always done things in the conventional way. 
As a teenager- I yearned for freedom..away from the rules. I was a dreamer, preferring to see things my way, and felt that my creative thinking  and my freedom was being suppressed. I was told over and over that I was different, and I refused to conform.
In the late 70's, I was introduced to the biker world. I thought, I found my people, they were my tribe. They were mysterious,free, powerful, intimidating, cool- oh and irreverent.

Over those  20 or so years  I gained much wisdom that I use every day..

I like to call them 'The rules of the road...'


People all want to be seen, heard, appreciated and hugged..even A 6'9" guy who's first name started with Crazy....

The battles we fight- inside or out leave scars that we want to show and tell with others.

If you start a fight- don't expect people to jump in and save your ass.

Everybody secretly wants to be you- rebel, wear leather, quit their job, buy a harley and hit the road.

A thick skin, like leather, protects you from stuff that comes at you at 70 mph..or when you fall down.

Learn to laugh at yourself- we all do stupid shit that people will continue to remind you about..
You may even get a nickname because of it.

Just because you buy a leather, a motorcycle and microphone helmets doesn't make you a biker- it makes you a wannabe- be yourself.

F.T.W.- if you have to ask you wouldn't understand.

There is no destination- just a series of experiences on a one way trip.

'Live to Ride' is more than a slogan.

What you see and hear you keep to yourself.

Keep yourself in check.

You are known by the company you keep.

Friendly does not mean friend.

There is power in numbers.

We all have to watch out for each other- if they are on the road with you,  you stick with them, you don't bail when they break down.

Your recklessness affects others and if it does- they are going to be pissed.

Stand for what you believe, and protect the innocent.

So, on the road of life, we are all on our way to somewhere- don't forget to stop and have a cold one, everyone has a story especially the old timers-take time to listen,  take the road less traveled, don't be afraid to get lost, worry about it when and if it happens, enjoy the scenery, put your arms out and pretend to fly, wave at strangers and most importantly.... enjoy the wind.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Dreaming the dream.......



Life is but a dream....
We spend our lives on the 'To Do' and there doesn't seem to be time for ‘Creating the dream’. We feel  like slaves to the life that  is thrust upon us.

The life you have is the one that you are allowing yourself to have.              
If that's so- we can create whatever experience we want.
It can be changed at any moment.
-When you decide you want more.
-When you become intolerant of suffering.
-When you get accountable to your own life.

One day- I had a Dream. In the dream, I envisioned A Village, a place of peace, community and teaching-
an oasis for a changing and lost world.

At the time, there was no foreseeable way that was going to happen;
 I had a 2 year old- my marriage was a mess- I'd lost a 20 year career and I had lost my identity.
I owned a small retail store that I had to depend on for my very existence.
I thought there is no freaking' way. This ‘Dream’ was really a vision and part of my Spiritual Awakening.

I bought a three ring binder- I filled it with ideas for the 'Dream'. I wrote powerful words on the cover with a silver marker;. Manifestation- Inspirations- Insights- Notions- Plans- Ideas- Visions- Dreams- and drew suns stars and moons all over it.

What would it look like? What would I do there? Who would come?

Ok, what would I need to get it up and running?
1. A location..(I had visited a wonderful B+B once- I fell in love with it.)
I used it as my  backdrop.

2. What were the blocks to getting it?
I made a list.. it started to look do-able!

With help from the Universe- things slowly began to change....I began to change..
I got divorced (not by my choosing at the time) I let go of the store that was a source of exhaustion and huge financial commitment. I spent the next year healing my wounded life, mourning, decompressing, sorting, purging, , praying  and dreaming. I was blessed to have the company of my friend and sister Jennifer during that amazing, wonderful, horrible time.
At the end of that year, I had a clearer understanding of the Dream. I had a clearer understanding of what I needed to create it. I got accountable, gained confidence, accepted myself unconditionally, evolved and planned. With every bag of garbage I purged and every relationship I evaluated,  I cleared the path of everything that was in the way of the Dream. My ways of thinking- worry- control and fear and replaced them with hope- accountability- faith and surrender.

During those years, my son and I visited our beloved  B+B over 30 times. He used to call it ‘Our House’;it was for sale and vacant. In  October 2009, I made the call and it was available and do-able. On the Full Moon- October 31, 2009 A Village became a reality.

The day we got the keys- I stood in the living room with my now 15 year old son-
He said "We did it Mom- can you believe it?...It's our  Dream come true. Can you believe we are standing in ‘Our House’?!"
I cried that day..
For the woman I was-
For the time wasted in suffering-
For Joy-
For the Future-
and in Gratitude.

Friday, August 20, 2010

So you think you're Psychic????

Over the last few years I have had this conversation so many times that I decided that it's time to blog about it...lol

There is a great fascination with  'the other side' in our current culture. Due to the fact that society and  reality is pretty screwed up at this time. People are being let down by the faith of their fathers and are in search of a greater meaning to it all.

Everyone wants to be 'Psychic'  (it is not a gift- we are all intuitive) know the future and predict the future for others. They want to prove that the 'Other Side' exists. They want to disprove that the 'Other side' exists. They  view it like a reality show- titillated by the paranormal and the people who chase the afterlife arrogantly and irresponsibly.

It is ignorant and irresponsible to play with something that we do not understand. I now realize why we are disrespected by the Indigenous peoples- we are irreverent in our ignorance and make fun of what we don' t understand. We lack respect.

I'm here to clear up a few myths....

For those of you that know me- I'm a straight shooter- I don't mince words and I don't necessarily tell you what you want to hear. This is not by my choice- it is the agreement that I made with  the Universal beings when I agreed to do this work.

I learned in the most difficult and life threatening way- there is a great responsibility by accepting the assignment in this lifetime.

This is not intended to scare you- but someone has to say something before people get hurt.

Our human mind cannot comprehend the way it really works- so it has to be 'simplified' for our limited human thinking. None of us will really know the full story till we get there- and trust me- we will all get there eventually.

When I awakened to a spiritual life- it was not  by choice. In fact- for anyone reading this who knows me for more than 20 years- you will agree wholeheartedly.
My life became a train wreck- I was arrogant- controlling- omnipotent- abrasive- rude- punishing-judgmental- unaccountable- irreverent- disrespectful- intrusive-ignorant-  and self serving.
I think that sums it up.

This is not a criticism of myself. It is a fact. I used my 'Psychic-ness' like a weapon- I CLEARLY saw what other people needed to be doing- and what was coming for them clairvoyantly, but my own path was beyond my 'vision'.  I didn't want to know the message for myself.
There was nothing wrong with ME.....(really? lol)

My awakening occurred as my life spiraled 'out of control'. Disrupting every illusion that I had created. The more I tried- the worse it got.

Meanwhile, I was being surrounded with people from every possible spiritual path- all with the same message of surrender- acceptance- faith- compassion and accountability....None of the qualities that I myself embraced for others..or myself.

This was GRACE (a blessing we receive in spite of not being deserving of one)...this was a loving message in spite of me from the Universe. It was a call to see that I was living a lie- and I was too arrogant to understand that- so I suffered,  as I clung to the illusion and it fell apart anyway...i awoke very reluctantly...lol

So once the illusion was gone- I had to look at where I was. Yuk. 

Then I started to see that my whole life- the spirits, guides and messengers were always talking to me- they had been allowing me to create every experience as  the greatest teaching...so I began to hear them clearly. I now WANTED to hear them clearly so I could begin in a different way....


So if you are still with me- this is where we get back to the 'Other side' and  YOUR Psychic ability...

I developed a trusted and loving  relationship with my guides- who thankfully ran interference during my ignorant learning period (which almost killed me- a story for another day). I came to understand that my awakening was not just for my journey- but I was to use this learning to teach others how to manage their own personal awakening. That many were being 'CALLED' to serve our damaged world.

But in order to teach- we have to first be the student.
As the societal illusion crumbles people will be lost and looking for answers through faith- through their connection to the Divine.

There are lots of things on the other side- not just fluffy Angels and your dear sweet Grammy.....
I wish that's all there was.
There are many dark things as well- things unenlightened- looking to keep us confused to keep our world in chaos and hate. Sucking power through our fear and hatred and addictions.
Dead people bent on hate and destruction-without the human body..Invisible to us.
Then there are  Demons- and a host of Earth spirits.
I have had to opened that door on behalf of clients, who were struggling with those things and had to do battle personally. Facing  those things requires preparation, absolute faith and no fear.

We cannot have the light without the dark.

Now- Let's see it from a spiritual perspective...

We're at a party and getting out the Ouija board- tarot cards- mirror- whatever...and decide we are going to 'connect with the other side ' because we think we are PSYCHIC....guess who is waiting to answer you're questions? Grammy? Hell no....

Our arrogance  in opening the window to the unknown  is 'asking' and what is waiting to answer you is not  the Angels- it is the THUG on the street of the 'other side' ready to take advantage of your ignorance and arrogance...

The Light allows us the experience-they allow us free will so we create our own teaching and punishment- because a great teaching is about to occur.....The same occurs
on  the paranormal shows where they are pissing off dead folks to capture paranormal activity. That is like watching someone bully another human being for entertainment. It makes me sick.

How bad do you want to know your future?
Looking for spiritual guidance and insight and training is a better way to approach it.

Let me tell you-you already have all the answers within. The challenge is that we as human beings don't like the answer.We don't  have to be psychic to know that our future is created through what we are doing RIGHT NOW. We will continue to get more of what we already have unless we make changes to our thinking.

My favorite question is ' Is this the man? The ONE??  Thances are if the last 5 have been jerks- and you haven't self examined-then chances are this one is a jerk too- same teaching, different package. Another test to see if you are going to say no, or demand better for yourself..
You don't need to be psychic to figure that out.

Now- if you want to attract  new and wonderful opportunities to your life- and you really want to  hear the message that the Universe is sending you- connect with your guides then use your intuitive ability to change you and this world... If you need help- let me know :)

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Letting go and becoming......

Today I dropped my son at his first day of high school; not just high school but an all male high school lead by the monks of Benedictine. A Spiritual place, a society of men.
A foreign world for a woman and mother.
The world of men is a mystery, as it should be.
Allowing him to enter that world without my watchful eye, and allowing him enter the Lodge is a rite of passage and  the hardest  surrender yet.
Although he is my son- he is a man and I will never be able to understand ( as much as I like to think I do) or fill the place that defines him in that way.
So...today I will be the Bow that bends in the Archer's hand- and allow  my son- the arrow to be sent forth in the company of other Warriors...


Children- Kahlil Gibran

And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, 'Speak to us of Children.'
And he said:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.
Khalil Gibran

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Coyote- The Trickster

I love storytelling and especially love the traditional stories of our First Peoples.
Some of my favorite stories are about our brother Coyote
.
Coyote represents many things. He is the eternal trickster, always getting others to compromise themselves in order for him to get what he wants, or to do for him what he is perfectly capable of doing for himself.

When it all goes bad, as it inevitably does - Coyote never takes ownership- blaming and  shouting his victimization for all to hear!!!

Brother coyote also reminds us to not take things so seriously, that when we do we forger the humor in situations and in ourselves., He is a reminder of the childlike pranks that will crack up the stoniest of faces and situations. Use humor to remove fear and worry....

On the medicine wheel, summer is governed in some tribes by Coyote- the place of birth and innocence. Embrace this time to play, to create, to twirl and skip. Use humor to dispell the seriousness of the illusion we've created....
To balance reverence with irreverence is the teaching of this Wylie trickster!!!!

Friday, June 18, 2010

South Winds of Innocence

The South winds blow
from the Place where Innocence lives
Bringing the Awakening of the Child
that lives still in my heart.

The simplicity of childhood;
where all that was important
was in this moment.
Where imagination and play
were woven together like a beautiful tapestry.

South Wind of Innocence,
blow the dust of self importance,
worry and fear  from my mind
and allow me to remember
the childlike joy of being alive.

Marianne Goldweber

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Becoming.....

Everyone has an Illusion created of what they want the outside world to see.
As with any Illusion, the only one in it is usually us.

It is very difficult to  look at ourselves from another perception. Like seeing yourself on film- or  hearing yourself on a recording. We can't believe that is how we look and how we sound.
It can be painful.
However, the more we watch and listen- the more opportunity we have to correct the things that make us uncomfortable, and to understand why we do that- and the easier it gets.

It gives us the ability to change what we don't like and come to love what we see.

Our inner critic and judge is crueler than any one we've met. So this observation is not about blaming and punishing ourselves, just self awareness and  accountability; forgiveness and the desire to be better spiritual beings in our human form.

This is the awakening.

This is where the healing and growth occur. People begin to respond to us in a different way. They may even get angry with us for the changes we make because it exposes their illusion, They feel  guilt and shame so they seek to punish us. They become angry for leaving them with no one to play with in the illusion. They may come along- but they may also go away. This is the risk that keeps most of us from changing. WEe want to change, but we want the illusion too...that's not possible.

But learning who we authentically are, minus the illusion, creates inner peace.
Once you have that- who you were is just a story.  Not the total of who you are but a piece of the you that stands here today.

Like a scar- a reminder of where we've been, in order to be in this moment.

With this compassion and understanding we will now begin to understand why others do what they do, we begin to see past the illusion they've created and why. This is the interconnectedness that binds us all together.

Ultimately we come to understand that there is nothing separating any of us from each other that love, and compassion, faith and trust cannot overcome- even if they have not come to see it for themselves.

Be the change you wish to see
Have the courage to change no one but yourself and you will find that all of the trivial  problems that are keeping you from the joy filled life that the Universe wants for you will start  to manifest.

You are beautiful
You are magnificent
You are the purest form of the expression of the Divine....
What are you waiting for?

Marianne Goldweber

Monday, June 14, 2010


The miracle mile....

We toil and work
scrimp and save
our head bowed down like a slave.
Our human self forgets we're free,
There's more to life than what we see.

 Lift your head and look up awhile,
it's an infinite path on the Miracle mile.

Lined with helpers along the way
other journeyers and sages
and places to play.

There is beauty and  joy around each turn,
only doom and gloom is what we've learned.
and If you can't see past today
Faith will follow you every step of the way.

Spirits and fairies, loved ones too,
watching over to help you through.

We are in such a rush to reach the end
once it's done-
you can't do it again.
The People we pass,
Opportunities too,
go by only once and lie behind you.

So stop and share,
admire and create
Adventure and Magic lie behind each gate.

Share this road and sit awhile,
enjoy the trip like a child.
and when we come to the journeys end
we will not regret the time we spend
meeting new folks and sharing some time,
learning new things and being alive.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

New Moon

Grandmother moon
hides her face from her children
Plunging them into darkness
immersing them in the void
of their souls.

Without her light
we see the truth
about ourselves
and the world
we have created.

Time to go within-
alone and in the dark.
to embrace the death
of the illusions created

To clear the garden of our life
and prepare it to receive
the seed of Creation

Preparing a new and fertle place
to plant our dreams
and water them with our tears.

Marianne Goldweber

Thursday, April 29, 2010

I got up this morning with a lot on my mind. I was having a difficult time surrendering it to the Will of the Supreme. This is where I always say "We say we have Faith- but to 'have faith' and 'apply it' to everyday situations are very different". My human ego wants to manage and manipulate, even thought I know that the Divine plan is a better plan than I could have ever come up with.
I prayed.  I resolved myself, surrendered my need to control  and was at peace with allowing the Divine to give me what I needed today...

I turned on the television and there was a televangelist on. I know a message when I see it and lord knows that I would surely discount the message because of the messenger in the past- so it HAD to be a televangelist that I actually like...lol

I can hear my guides on the other side..."Who would be the best human messenger  in this moment to confirm the message for Marianne???"
It was Joyce Meyers...I like her, she reminds me of myself.....

She was talking about the accountability of surrender, to pick up the 'cross' (accept the challenge) and get moving. The rest is not up to you, surrender to the Will of God. Be the vessel. 
Our job is to clean the vessel and get it ready for what God wants in our lives...

Yes.
Yes
Yes
Thank you Joyce,
Thank you Universe-
I'm listening,  I really am....lol

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Seperation- leaving the Fourth world

When we used to live in villages, there was a need for interdependency for survival.

Now we live in communities and cities that are so vast- that our interdependence is almost unnoticed. We've gone from tribal counsels of wise elders to public officials. The bigger these communities become- the more separate the people become from the responsibility to the whole.
A breach has been created between the people and the leaders- where corruption has infiltrated and the people  cannot  be heard in order to effect change.

The people became distracted by the addiction of  their want, their need, and don't see themselves as a part of the greater whole. Greed, isolation and material  wealth has overshadowed the need for Connectedness to each other and the responsibility of each  individual to make the community thrive.

There is a separateness between those with wealth and education, and those in poverty and ignorance..
This is the Fourth world of separation.

It is coming to an end.
So what must happen to destroy this illusion in order for the Fifth world of Peace to arrive?
This is the pivotal question.
It is already being felt. it has already begun.

The Fifth world of Peace rejoins the people with the Earth- with the Source of all there is- with each other..no longer will we be separate- but as with all change and transition- it requires a 'death'. Not necessarily in the Apocalyptic sense- but the longer we try to keep things the way they are as they struggle to die- that is where the pain and angst will be felt. The things that are dying are the ways of thinking and the lie we have been told.
the lie that we financed and paid for so dearly. We have to work 2 jobs and put our children in the care of strangers so we can make enough to pay for it all...

Enter The Fifth World of Peace.....

We are being called by an inner knowing to conncet to the Divine. The Spiritual awakening has begun, and many are in search for the meaning of Life- their Purpose and their connection to the Divine- in whatever form they choose.,
We are disinchanted with matierial  acquirements and come to honor what we have that is useful and meaningful. No more hoarding.
We long for Peace, and the simplicity of life.
We are searching for others like ourselves, who want to create a better world for our children, where hate and greed and ignorance are a thing of the past.
We are seeking to create community- where we can serve and be understood and accepted; Where each of us is responsible to ourselves and to each other.
Where Love, Compassion and Joy overcome hate, judgment and misery.
We are being called to heal our Mother- the Earth- life bringer- sustainer of us all.

As the pinnace year of 2012 approaches- we will see that keeping the illusion of what our society has become will be a waste of time. The gluttony and hedonism will die- and those who serve that master in their addiction will be sadly awakened.

We are learning- slowly- that less is more and we will learn to be less dependent on the illusion of wealth- and become rich in a more profound way. Not indebted to create a feeling of wealth..an illusion of having....But  understanding that we are never without. That everything we need is provided- through effort, accountability and faith. That if I have and another does not- we have failed.

Redefining wealth as those who love us and those we love- including our neighbors and those we meet on the street. Time- not to fill with addiction, diversion and worry- but peace of mind to enjoy the simplicity of our lives and those in it.

What will you create as the world changes?

Find your Tribe

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

My Gratitude prayer

Wakan Tanka- Creator of all there is-
Thank you for believing in me and giving me the strength and courage to believe in myself.

I am but a  human woman. I am flawed,  but trying hard to embrace the way of Spirit- to rise above the human weaknesses that separate me- Ego, Fear, Blame, judgment, Hate

I know now that I am not separate from You- Your love is obvious when I choose to let go and get out of the way. When I allow you to give me what I need.
Removing my expectations has given me Peace that I have never known.

 I am grateful to the Guides and Ancestors on the Blue Road, who bridge the gap between this world and the next. Without their loving patience and guidance I would not have had the courage and knowing to lead in my life.

I am grateful to my human family. So many Teachers; loving, caring, compassionate people who I  am blessed to have join me on this journey. Those who are looking for  peace, love, acceptance and a better way to live- in spite of the world as it is.

I have hope for a better future as I awaken to the need for change in our world.
It begins with me- and I can see the ripple that is being created as I watch your teachings through the Smoking Mirror.

We are all connected.

I am also grateful for all my brothers and sisters in the animal tribe; The unconditional sacrifices they make because of our human ignorance as they try to protect our mother the Earth, in spite of us.
Still giving us messages of change and hope as they try to coexist in their shrinking world with us.

I am grateful to all of the other tribes- the standing people, the things that creep and swim, and our medicine people the plants who bring me many different perceptions and healing.

I seek to change no one but myself.
In my humanness ,separateness and ignorance I have harmed many. I cannot make amends to them all, but seek to Walk in Beauty the rest of my days.

I will clear my path of all the blocks to the Journey you ave prepared for me, so I may see you, in all of your forms,  walking beside me as I go forward on the Good Red Road.
Aho.

Marianne Goldweber

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Spring Cleaning- Making room for NEW

We want more...right? Picture being a prayer answerer on the other side and wanting to give us more, but they see that our hearts, minds and homes and schedules are full- so full that there is no room for all the things we are asking for...what is a spirit to do?
They answered our prayer last week and we did not even say thank you.

Shift your perception.

Let's ask ourselves- if I was to answer my prayer for more, whether that is new experiences, peace, love  or financial abundance- how am I managing what I've already been given- and- is there room for that which I ask?
Chances are the answer is we have not.

Are we honoring what we have?
Are we grateful?
Are we seeing the abundance we have been given that we are treating with disrespect?
Why do we deserve more?
In our search for what we don't have- how do we treat the things and people we do have?

In doing this inventory- we may find that we have had it all along.



Spring is a time of creation- of creating what we want to bloom and grow...but first we must clear away the debris of the fall, and cultivte the soil in order to prepare the fertile ground for the seed....
In the garden of our lives- are we ready for the time of planting?

Thought for the day;

I am grateful for what I am and have.
My thanksgiving is perpetual...
O how I laugh when I think of my vague indefinite riches.
No run on my bank can drain it
for my wealth is not possession but enjoyment.
Henry David Thoreau

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Peace

Peace
I looked around for this thing called peace
I looked and looked everywhere for it.
and all I found was chaos.

I became angry that no one would tell me where I could find it.
until an amazing thing happened.
I heard the Voice..
it said 'sit down'

I did what I was told.
I sat down..
it felt strange to be still.
I observed that nothing around me stopped moving

I watched as everyone and everything swirled and twirled in the chaos.

I then became aware of my separateness..I was alone......
which was uncomfortable yet nice at the same time...
no one seemed to notice me just sitting.

I began to examine my surroundings.
taking a inventory of where I was and what I thought
something I never had the time to do before I sat.

I began to hear the Voice clearer as it answered my questions and gave me insight...
I came to trust the Voice because it  was kind, patient and loving.
I was liking this new feeling
and realized that I found what I was looking for,
the surprise was; it was here all along.

And as I sat,  people would notice.
They would come over and ask me 'Do you know where I can find Peace?'
I said 'Come and sit down with me awhile.......'

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Potential

When I was a child my parents would go to parent teacher conferences. They would come home and say- the teacher loves you but  you aren't working uo to your potential... 
I used to hate that.
My potential?- What did that mean?

I was not an over achiever by any stretch of the imagination- and frankly no one really  put any pressure on me to do better. I was never really challenged.
As an adult  I felt that I was working hard, but when my mediocre efforts were not rewarded in the way I thought they should be,  I could not understand why.
I had a huge sense of entitlement and was disappointed  a lot. 
At times I was even rather indignant.

 My spiritual awakening and personal accountability dealt me many very difficult observations about myself that were painful to acknowledge.

Our society has created a generation of entitlement, where there is  little effort. It takes work  and accountability to create the success that most of us want. 

I passed up, and was overlooked for many opportunities because of the illusion of  my self importance. Seeing that  much success or failures have been in direct result with the effort and consistency to which I applied myself was a changing day. 
You get what you give.

So, the phrase 'not working up to my potential' translates into what the Universe knows I am capable of , physically, spiritually and emotionally; if I should choose to accept the opportunities presented to me and exert effort.  

I didn't understand that if I took a step forward in the right direction, the Universe takes two and I get propelled forward much faster. That my forward movement is matched with that from my 'helpers' on the other side. That I'm not doing it alone.

Dare to live up to your potential- I know you can do it, the question is do you?.
Marianne Goldweber

Thought for the day;

To awaken each morning with a smile brightening my face; 
to greet the day with reverence for the opportunities it contains; 
to approach my work with a clean mind; 
to hold ever before me, even in the doing of little things, the ultimate purpose toward which I am working; 
to meet men and women with laughter on my lips and love in my heart; 
to be gentle, kind, and courteous through all the hours; 
to approach the night with weariness that ever woos sleep and the joy that comes from work well done - 
this is how I desire to waste wisely my days.
Thomas Dekker


Thursday, March 4, 2010

Discovering our purpose- The Shaman's Death

Many cultures have rituals that are part of an initiation into the work of a Medicine person. These ritual teachings not only involve spiritual learning but a physical surrender with a  brush with death as well.. These rituals are necessary in order for the Medicine person to work with people who are in neeed of healing- whether that healing is physical  emotional or spiritual. the Medicine person is called to face  the darkness that is keeping them in suffering.

We are all called, at some point in our life, to have a ritualistic death- but many of us are afraid to let go of what is familiar  and truly have the Faith required to let go and surrender  in order to uncover our purpose.

We cannot be free to 'become' if we don't allow  the human conditioning, ego and human truths to 'die' and define our Faith- what we believe guides us in this journey- and then trust in it.

It is an ultimate act of Faith; when we are willing to surrender ourselves.it is in that moment of 'death' that we put our life in the hands of the Divine force that goes by many names; Great Mystery- the Source - God- Creator.

In order to emerge- one must surrender completely to the darkness and do battle with the dark forces-such as in the 'Shaman's Death'.

In order to help others battle the darkness- it takes one who has been there to do battle with that which he himself  has come face to face with.

How can we have the courage to face another's demons objectively without facing our own?

Those who emerge  from  this ritual,  walk both the red road and the blue road of spirit.

Surrendering  and facing the darkness - especially the darkness within us is the ultimate act of Faith but necessary if we are to do the work we are being called to do to heal our world and her people.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

I'm on my way........

The Past.  The problem with the past is that
we feel the need to carry it into today and into the future.
Too many times I have allowed the past to affect my today
and the decisions I make for tomorrow.
No  more....
I start on the trail of today
empty handed.
No ugly paisley bag of things
to burden me on my journey.
Just me and those who choose to come along.
I will not wait for anyone to decide to join me-
because they aren't ready
or because they want to pack their bag
or gather food.
The bus is leaving
ready or not.
Join me if you will
or don't
I'm on my way....
Marianne Goldweber

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Happy Birthday to Me

49- I thought so many times that I would never be this old.
The events that have lead to this day are a flood of experiences.
The loves and losses, the joys and sadness's, the pain and experiences.

I had a moment this morning where I thought 'What have I accomplished?'
To the outside world it may not seem to be a lot-
I drive a car that's 12 years old, I am divorced- I don't have  the 'finer' material things that  we feel shows our success in this world.

I shared this with my son as we rode to school- it made me a little sad to remember the  time I seemingly wasted in years of pain and denial.   In his infinite wisdom he said 'Don't cry on your birthday Mom. You aren't like some guy in a dead end job with no friends sitting in his little cubicle alone with a cupcake and a candle singing happy birthday to me.'

I had to laugh out loud- he doesn't really know that I have been that person- back when my priorities  and illusion were in play.I vowed to end my own suffering and then help those who are still there.

I know that what I have accomplished in this 49 years is so much more-
I have made peace with who I am- I have used (and still do) the tools of my experiences that I have had; to build a solid foundation for my future.
I have met the most amazing people-

Today is a  memorial for  the woman I have left behind and a celebration of the birth of who I am becoming (it's never really over you know!)
With each experience I have learned;
I have people who love me- for who I am and not what I can do for them or what they can do for me.
I have self respect.
I am abundant.
I have learned to love myself and truly love those around me- even if that meant letting them go.
I have learned that there is nothing that I am not capable of.
and most of all, that even if I am alone in this world, I am never alone-and can connect with those loving teachers any time I want- if I'm just still enough to listen..

So in my climb up the mountain- as I reach the summit- I am turning around and appreciating the road to this beautiful place-
and as I look to the future am in awe of it's beauty because I have remembered
the road I've taken to this moment.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Finally

I am me-
I am not you
or what you think I should be.

I am a perfect piece of the Divine
just like I am.

I'm not like anyone else
and that makes me happy.
Finally.

Marianne Goldweber

Monday, February 22, 2010

Prayer to Great Spirit- Chief Yellow Lark Lakota

Before you read below- start the video.

 

Lakota Prayer

Oh, Great Spirit,
Whose voice I hear in the winds,

and whose breath gives life to all the world, 

hear me.
I am small and weak.

I need your strength and wisdom.

Let me walk in beauty 

and make my eyes ever behold 

the red and purple sunset.

Make my hands respect the things you have made

and my ears sharp to hear your voice.

Make me wise 

so that I may understand 

the things you have taught my people.

Let me learn the lessons you have hidden in every leaf and rock.

I seek strength, 

not to be superior to my brother,

but to fight my greatest enemy – 

myself.

Make me always ready to come to you

with clean hands and straight eyes,

so when life fades, 

as the fading sunset,

my spirit will come to you without shame.- 

Chief Yellow Lark, Lakota, 1887

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

What blocks our way...A parable......

A frightened man was running for his life.
He came upon a raging river that blocked his escape.
In his angst and fear of what he assumed followed behind,
he rushed into the raging waters.
He was swept away by the current and drowned.

There was nothing chasing the man.
Only an imaginged illusion created by his past.

The obstacle was facing the illusion that Fear created.
Fear of criticism for choices he had made,
running from those who sought to make him suffer.
Running from himself.
He was his pursuer.

But what he failed to see,
as the river barred his way;
was the threat was an illusion.

The river was not an obsticle, it was an opportunity.
An opportunity  created to allow  him time to stop and face his fear- and assess his options.
To face his past and those who criticized him.
To reach within and find Forgiveness and Courage.

And had he just stopped-
he would have seen -
just below the surface of the swift moving waters-
lie stones-
just barely visible-
creating a path for him to safely cross-
had  he chosen to cross at all.

The only person who's permission you need to seek
for happiness in this life
is the face that stares at you from the mirror.
be a friend
tell them the truth
love and encourage
be bold
be fearless
be courageous
be patient
be kind
be forgiving 
but most of all just BE.....

Marianne Goldweber

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

words of wisdom from my boss....

When I was nineteen , I answered an ad for a job. When I arrived, before I could fill out an application, they asked if I could start immediately. I was a little surprised and said yes.

The man took me to a large room with about 30 desks and sat me down with a large pile of computer printouts and said "Call these customers and tell them they need to pay this amount as he pointed to the past due amount on the page.  I didn't know what this business sold, or what these people owed for.

Less than 5 minutes later, before I could pick up the phone- the same man returned and got everyone's attention. He began to point at people and said- you- you-you-  you're fired- get out.
He fired everyone in the room except me and two other shocked people.
That was the first day in my 20 year career in  the collections field.

The owner of the company brought in an executive the next day as a consultant,  to help him grow his business- and groom this rag tag bunch of people into 'professionals'.His name was Harry.
I always thought he didn't know what he was getting into the first day..

Harry changed my life. Not a day goes by  that I don't remember some 'pearl' of wisdom that he used to share with me.  He taught me how to dress- how to talk- how to reason- how to take pride in a job well done.  Harry was, in hindsight, one of those angels sent here to intersect my journey.

He was tough, loving and fair. He had integrity.  He spoke his truth with love.
Even though I was a challenge- he never gave up on me and went to bat many many times when my mouth overran my better judgment. Harry was  like a Father to me.

He used to force us for an hour every day to listen to Zig Ziglar motivational tapes till we could recite all the 'Zig-isms' like seasoned pros. He taped me while I was on the phone and made me listen to. it.
He trained me to develop a 'phone voice' and a come back for every argument.
I had a delinquent client one time that said "You act like it's your money"...I told him, "It is.. I'm a stockholder and right now you are not an asset- but a liability, so what can we do about that?"

Harry told me to ask myself  two questions at the end of every day-
Did the job I do satisfy my employer?
and 
Did the job I do satisfy me.

Eventually- there was no other option that to evolve professionally to the Banking industry.
Leaving Harry was like leaving home for the first time.
From the time I started,that company went from 20 employees to a multimillion dollar organization in less than 10 years with offices nationally. All due to this amazing man.
Harry passed passed away 10 years ago, peacefully(as it should be) and I miss him greatly.

So you're asking yourself, "What does this mean to me?"

How loyal are you as an employee?


We are all technically self employed and need to develop an entrepreneurial way of thinking.

Work smarter- not harder.

If you have an idea- or money saving proposal-document it and present it to the powers at large

Your paycheck is the reward for a job well done.

A companies success is determined by attitude and loyalty to each person's success, from the CEO to the parking attendant.

The client comes first- your coworkers and other employees are also a client.

While you're at work- be at work.

Stay away from gossip and gossipers- if they are talking to you- they are talking about you.

Someone is always observing you whether you know it or not.

Take your lunch away from your desk. You need to walk away for that time.


Touch it once- finish it now. It will come back to haunt you at the worst possible time.

Don't pass the buck- if it lands on you- do your best to resolve it.

If you can't, communicate it to the person you pass it to.

Get to know people in other areas of the business. Networking is vital.
Build business relationships.

Don't be a problem finder- be a solution finder.

Leave work at work- leave home at home.

When you finish with a client- they should think you are the nicest person they met today.

You attract more bees with honey than vinegar. 

If you don't know- find out- 'I didn't know' is the worst excuse in the world.

Be a self starter.

Having a job is a blessing- show your gratitude.

If you help enough people get what they want- you can't help but get what you want.

Have an amazing day!