Wednesday, September 30, 2009

The Bluebird in my Heart




Bluebird
Charles Bukowski

There's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I'm too tough for him,
I say, stay in there, I'm not going
to let anybody see
you.

there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I pur whiskey on him and inhale
cigarette smoke
and the whores and the bartenders
and the grocery clerks
never know that
he's
in there.

there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I'm too tough for him,
I say,
stay down, do you want to mess
me up?
you want to screw up the works?
you want to blow my book sales in
Europe?

there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I'm too clever,
I only let him out at night sometimes
when everybody's asleep.
I say, I know that you're there,
so don't be sad.
then I put him back,
but he's singing a little
in there, I haven't quite let him die
and we sleep together like that
with our secret pact

and it's nice enough to
make a man weep,
but I don't weep, do you?


Henry Charles Bukowski (August 16, 1920 – March 9, 1994) was a German American poet, novelist, and short story writer. Bukowski's writing was heavily influenced by the geography and atmosphere of his home city of Los Angeles,
and is marked by an ...emphasis on the ordinary lives of poor Americans,
the act of writing, alcohol, relationships with women, and the drudgery
of work. A prolific author, Bukowski wrote thousands of poems, hundreds
of short stories, and six novels, eventually having over 60 books in
print. In 1986 Time called Bukowski a "laureate of American lowlife."[4]

Friday, September 25, 2009

All the answersd lie within...Om Mani Padmi Ohm.

Children, school, homework, work, laundry, friends,cooking,shopping....
It almost sounds like a Calgon bath commercial..but the reality is that there is not a lot of time for going within.

The stillness- which is taught by many cultures and spiritual schools of thought- is the still place within us where we commune with God..the Source..the Great Mystery.

This communion allows us to silence the distractions from the human world; allowing us to surrender to the ongoing guidance and insight from the world of Spirit.

For me, entering the stillness is like shedding my clothes and immersing myself in a warm bath on a cold day...It is the place where I commune with my teachers- spirit guides and ancestors- It is like going to visit friends who know you so well that there is no explaining, no posturing, no excuses; where communicating is simple and fluid...no words- just thought. Pure love and understanding.

These 'relations' have a much better perspective of my journey- one that most of us rarely take into consideration. Our Purpose..

This communication requires we surrender to the human need to control the outcome and be open to what the Spiritual beings have in mind for our highest and best.

Actually- it's what I wanted to do on this journey- but I forgot when I left the spirit world to be born into this human life. This is actually MY plan for MYSELF. But I forgot the directions on the other side. So I must now stop and ask for direction from those that know me, and my mission, best.

I blogged about an experience I had as a child once......

A long time ago, my Mom took us to Sears, ( hot nuts and hot dogs...yummy...) and we would go to the toy area while she shopped... Well, being who I was, I got bored and went looking for her....panic ensued, and meanwhile she went to the toy section, and I wasn't there....
We spent what seemed to be forever looking for each other.

I was in a panic...then I was running, in all directions, criss-crossing where I had already been out of fear.. Well when we finally saw each other she said "If you are ever lost, just stop and stay where you are and I will find you."

When you are lost, and in a panic, stop... be still and allow yourself to be found, and listen for the guidance to give you direction...



Today...I will enter the silence.I will allow the love of the Universe to wash over me and bring me to a place where there is no fear, no angst; nothing to control or manage. A place where the love is unconditional and the answers are clear....

“We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature - trees, flowers, grass- grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence... We need silence to be able to touch souls.”

Mother Teresa quotes

Marianne Goldweber
www.mariannegoldweber.com

Friday, September 11, 2009

Why Me???...an amazing story.......

It was 9am on September 11 2001, I was watching the 'Today show' and saw the events of 9-11 unfold Live...It wasn't clear at that time, until the second plane hit, that it was an intentional act...I was in the midst of a separation and my soon to be ex husband was working in Washington DC in the vicinity of the Pentagon.

My son was safely at school and I made my way to my retail business, which was on a major street..When I got there- people were literally wandering out of their offices and businesses shocked and close to a panic... My little herb store became a refuge for these wandering souls looking for some understanding.

I was on the sidewalk, when a man came up to me, tears streaming. He came up to me and said "Help me, I don't know what to do." I had some cafe tables and chairs set up on the sidewalk and I sat him down and ran to get a glass of water for him. When I returned, he told me a fantastic story.......

He said, "They're dead".. I knew that a lot of people were dying from this tragedy, but I asked "Who is dead"..He said "My company, everyone."...he sobbed and sobbed....He then told me that he was here in Cleveland on business, he was supposed to fly out the last night, but he missed his flight and was getting a plane this afternoon, and the company he worked for was on one of the top floors at the world trade center,where the first plane hit...
He tried to call, but he couldn't get through..

He said "I'm the only one left- I should have been there this morning...why me?" "Why me"..his words trailed off and his grief overtook him...he could not comprehend why he wasn't there; as if he deserved to be there, not that his life was spared in some Divine way... I couldn't do anything but hold him and allow his shock and grief to fill him and spill over, as his mind tried to wrap itself around the reality that was manifesting...

Time stood still and after an hour or so, as people were reporting the continuing horror to include a threat to Cleveland, as the plane bound for Washington circled us here.(Which was inevitably the plane that crashed in Pennsylvania)we all disbursed;Making our way to our loved ones, gathering our children.... and to the safety of our homes..
As he drove away I offered a prayer for him and his coworkers and for his families safety..I never saw that man again....

Today, as I remember this day in history I recall this man and his words "Why me?"

I hope that in the last 8 years he has discovered the answer to that question on that fateful day when everything for him changed...and I believe, will all my faith, that out of Tragedy, great Triumphs are born....

Marianne Goldweber

Marianne Goldweber: Bullies

Marianne Goldweber: Bullies

Friday, September 4, 2009

A teaching ....the Chameleon........

For a good majority of my life I can remember being one of those people that swam against the stream.I went through life feeling driven to have as many experiences as possible, good and bad. Back in my younger days I did it to make a statement- a dare of sorts. I was out of the box to get noticed, like a bad kid in an extreme way.

Though my awakening I have found that being a creative daring spiritual force is one of the things I have been sent here to learn and ultimately teach through my example.

However, not in the extreme attention getting way ...out of balance.

No longer am I doing it to make a statement. I have come to accept what it is that I love about who I am; that being spiritual, creative, irreverent, risky and unique is what is best for me; and not caring what anyone else may think or say. Accepting who I am and really loving my uniqueness allows others to embrace the light and dark in themselves; to find out authentically who they are, regardless of the environment of which they came.

So many of us are like the Chameleon- changing our color to match whatever environment we may be in. After changing our color for so long- we come to find we may never been aware of what our true color is. Humans, like chameleons, do it for the same reasons, to hide, to camouflage ourselves from the predators. Hiding in fear of being seen and vulnerable.

What is your true color?

My message today is- dare to explore who you really are; Who you are meant to be on this path called Life. And if you don't really know; at the next fork in the road where we will meet, let's take the road less traveled and explore the scenic route together.

So.. what does retrograde mean for you????

retrograde is a phenomenon (at varying times during the year) the planets appear to be spinning backward. So...whatever is retrograde(mercury governs communication) causes effects in people here.
So when Mercury is retrograde all communications are messed up. No one is clear and there are disputes . Mercury stays retrograde for approximately 3-4 weeks. So that would not be a time to do any BIG communicating, like legal battles, divorce, buying anything that requires a contract. It is a good time to reflect.
Now- there are FIVE planets retrograde now...
Neptune - emotion
Jupiter-/the emphasis is upon inner awareness and inner growth. It is an excellent time to get in touch with personal integrity.... Read More
Uranus- the planet of upheaval.
Pluto-When Pluto is transiting retrograde, we are urged to let go of attitudes, thinking or communication patterns, security drives, rigid emotions; a time to undergo an internal form of house cleaning. It is a good time to research into our own Souls

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

What is retrograde?????

This is a repost from Astrology on the web
http://www.astrologycom.com/retro.html


Retrograde Planets
Retrograde Planetary Cycles: 2009

This article explains retrograde motion and outlines the retrograde periods for the planets as they dance through our cosmos in 2009. There are links to our main retrograde motion articles, which cover the actual meanings of the retrograde phases of the personal planets, as well as the effects of the annual movement of the two Great Chronocrators, Jupiter and Saturn.

A planet is described as retrograde when it appears to be moving backwards through the zodiac. This traditional concept arises in the illusory planetary motion created by the orbital rotation of the earth, with relation to other planets in our solar system. It's a bit like travelling on the road watching another car beside you: when the other car slows down, or you speed up, it looks as though the other car is moving backwards. So planets are never actually retrograde or stationary, they just seem that way, due to this optical illusion. Click here for more on the science of retrograde planetary motion.

Retrograde periods, although often problematic for us earthlings, are not particularly uncommon. Each planet retrogrades, except the Sun and Moon. As a rule, retrograde planets presage a period of seemingly inevitable or fated events, which relate to their sphere of influence. They present us with a series of events over which we seem to have little or no control, relating especially to the sign in which the retrogradation occurs. For example, transiting Pluto retrograde in Capricorn presents quite different sets of circumstances from those generated when it retrogrades into Sagittarius.
Ancient Astrologers at Work
Planetary Stations

A retrograde period is best seen as a cycle, which begins when the planet begins to slow to a halt before travelling backwards through the zodiac and ends when the planet returns to the point where it first paused. However, during the cycle, the planet's energy is most powerful (and more likely to generate critical events of universal importance) when the planet makes a station, appearing motionless in the sky. These stationary periods occur at the beginning of the cycle (when the planet first halts as it prepares to move backwards) and midway through the cycle when the retrograde planet slows to a stop before moving forward again.

The planetary direct station (when the retrograde planet seems to halt before moving forward through the zodiac again) is a time of significant power when matters to do with the energies of the planet, house and sign can be favorably activated. The few days either side of this time are ideal for making or implementing decisions in the nature of the planet, sign and house concerned. In particular, the stations of Jupiter and Saturn are important with regard to longer term intentions.

Remember that the outer planets turn retrograde every year for quite some months, so it is not at all unusual to have one or more of them retrograde in one's own personal chart. This is not necessarily unfortunate and the key issues of destiny in such a case depend largely upon the aspects to the retrograde outer planets from the inner personal planets and points.
Thoth, Egyptian Mercury
Current Retrograde Movements

Mercury Mercury usually turns retro three times a year, but in 2009, it's four! Click for more.

Venus Venus retros every eighteen months, in 2009 from March 6 to April 17. Click for more.

Mars Mars turns retro only once every two years. Click for more.

Jupiter Jupiter from June 15, 2009 until October 13, 2009. Click for more.

Saturn Saturn from December 31, 2008 until May 17, 2009. Click for more.

Uranus Uranus from July 1, 2009 until December 1, 2009. Uranus in Pisces

Neptune Neptune from May 29, 2009 until November 4, 2009. Neptune in Aquarius

Pluto Pluto from April 4, 2009 until September 11, 2009. Pluto in Capricorn

Note:
The Moon's North and South Nodes (the Dragon's Head and Tail) are normally retrograde in their movement through the zodiac. The Nodes are not actual planets, but rather sensitive points, or "shadow planets" that have a powerful influence comparable with planetary strength. The True Node from time to time turns direct in motion for a few days, due to the phenomenon known as the Moon Wobble; such direct periods are generally considered unfortunate. The Mean Node is always retrograde, as the "Wobble" is averaged out for convenience. Read more about the Moon's Nodes.

Retrograde Planetary Cycles

* Mercury
Retrograde 24 days
Stationary approx. 3 days

* Venus
Retrograde 42 days
Stationary approx. 11 days

* Mars
Retrograde 80 days
Stationary approx. 20 days

* Jupiter
Retrograde 120 days
Stationary approx. 10 days



* Saturn
Retrograde 140 days
Stationary approx. 10 days

* Uranus
Retrograde 150 days
Stationary approx. 16 days

* Neptune
Retrograde 160 days
Stationary approx. 16 days

* Pluto
Retrograde 160 days
Stationary approx. 16 days